It’s Not What You Say – It’s How You Say It!

It’s Not What You Say - It’s How You Say It!
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You know I was walking my dog yesterday and I didn’t see that he pooped so I just continued walking. Suddenly a woman shouted at me that it’d be nice if I would clean that up. Of course I did that immediately, because I wouldn’t like to step into dog poop either. So sure I was thankful that she brought that to my attention, but you know what kind of annoyed me: her tone and attitude.

I don’t understand why people are not able to communicate in a kind and nice tone with each other.

Why is it that everybody talks like they take your mishaps as a personal offense against themselves? I can only speak for myself, but if I do something that in someone’s opinion seems wrong (like the dog poop incident), I can assure you I do not do it with the sole purpose to upset you. Often we don’t even realize that we did something wrong, because we simply forgot or overlooked it or paid too little attention to it or simple are just having a bad day.

Wanting to communicate with each other is amazing and I think we all should communicate a lot more. Communication is sooo important and today we all need to do it more. Sure we message or whatsapp – snapchat – instagram but that has very little to do with connecting with another person face to face.

So the next time you see someone forgetting to clean up after their dog or doing something else to annoy you maybe you could

– be kind, patient and gentle

– DO NOT take it personally

– and think a second about what you’re saying before you actually say it

Oh and if the other person is rude to you, well then you can feel pretty good about yourself, because you were definitely the better person here. At least you tried and trust me: At some point it will make a difference.

Having thoughts about this topic? Just let me know but remember I did not attempt to upset you with this post 🙂

Love, Carolin

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  • This is so true!! Tone is everything, especially in marriage and parenting. Watching my tone is something that I have to do daily. And the old saying, “You get more flies with honey, than with vinegar” still rings true.

    • Carolin December 19, 2017 Reply

      You are absolutely right 🙂

  • Mandy December 19, 2017 Reply

    Wow so rude! I find it so respectful the people who give the benefit of the doubt. Even if they saw you directly ignore it, they would point it out in a light tone and believe the best. This person you’re referencing went straight to believing the worst about you. This is a great reminder for me.

    • Carolin December 20, 2017 Reply

      Thank you so much for your comment. I totally agree that giving people the benefit of the doubt is really important and often prevents unnecessary drama.

  • “C’est le ton qui fait la musique” – a French saying, literally: “It’s the tone that makes the music.” I often think about this when I reflect on my use of the tongue.. And when it comes to strangers, it’s not that difficult to be friendly and polite for me. But when my kids are acting out… Well, it’s definitely something I need to work on!

    • Carolin December 20, 2017 Reply

      Well though I don’t have kids myself I can totally understand the challenge in staying patient 😉 But at least you’re trying and working on it!

  • Brittany December 21, 2017 Reply

    Could not agree with this more! And I love the way you explain it because sometimes I have a hard time articulating my opinion about this topic

    • Carolin December 22, 2017 Reply

      Thank you so much for your kind words. Means a lot!

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